4 Reasons Not to Have a Wedding

Stereotyping would lead everyone to believe that all little girls spend their childhoods dreaming of being a princess and (when they realize the unlikeliness of that happening) planning their big day in a white dress.

Well, believe it or not, I never had even thought about wedding planning as a child. It was just never one of my dreams to have some big, extravagant wedding. I actually cringing a little right now.

My husband and I have been married for over 5 years now. We were wed by a judge in a local courthouse. We "celebrated" the weekend before we were married by resting comfortably in our new apartment and taking the weekend off work. We were wed on a Monday afternoon, about an hour after I left work for the day.

1. You don't have a couple extra thousand dollars.

Even inexpensive weddings typically climb past $1000 after you break down all the real expenses. Even if that's spread over time, could you and should you have used that money for something else? We skipped the fancy wedding and reception and put the money toward our first apartment and the baby we were expecting. Instead of entering into marriage with some extra debt, why not take that money and apply it toward something like a first home, student loans, an emergency fund, etc.

2. You don't like to ask your friends to pay for your wedding.

This one drives me a little crazy. I've never understood the, "Want to be in MY wedding? Yeah? Okay, I'll need X amount of money for your bridesmaid dress for MY wedding." I know not every wedding works this way, but it seems to be more and more common, especially when people are trying to save money. If that's the case, see point 1!

3. You might get divorced.

Ouch! That one hurt, didn't it? Divorce rates are crazy high, so it's possible, but let's hope it's not probable. Anyway, dropping a couple thousand dollars on a wedding only to get divorced in a year, two years, or five years seems crazy!

4. You'd rather celebrate time wed, not getting wed.

This was a big one for me. I'd like to have a vow renewal someday to celebrate being together X amount of years. I think that's a cause for celebration, more the just celebrating getting married. I'd rather celebrate staying married.

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August's Movie Reel

I don't know if I've ever mentioned that my husband is a movie buff, but he is.  He watches so many movies and TV in general.  He loves it.  It's his thing.  Therefore, I've seen more than my share of movies (good and bad) during our relationship.  August seems to have been a real kicker for me, so I wanted to share the movies I've watched and my experiences with them.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

A reimagining of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies,  reporter April O'Neil is looking into a local crime organization and gets saved by mutated turtles who intended to not only save her, but the entire city of New York.

Starring: Megan Fox, Will Arnett, and William Fichtner

This seemed like a must watch from the second the trailer aired.  With the Turtles boasting a new, unique look to them and a humor-packed preview, I was beyond excited.

Unfortunately, the movie was a little dry and predictable for my taste.  All of the funnies seemed to have been left in the trailer with nothing to look forward to in the actual movie.

As expected, the story line was predictable, but not exactly the same as the original Ninja Turtles'.  Therefore, they surely upset a few hardcore fans.

We did take our 8 and 4 year-old and our newborn.  The boys loved it and were zombie fighting ninja turtles (yes, my boys were cross over some other favorites) for a few days following the movie.

Rating: 6/10

Blended

A story two parents who have an awful blind date and then are forced together with their separate families on spring vacation.

Starring: Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler

Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler have great chemistry, yet again!  I laughed so hard I was brought to tears by this romantic comedy of two radically different single parents who just can't seem to get away from each other, no matter how hard they try.

We watched this as a couple and it was everything we hoped it would be.  It was appropriately funny with just enough romance.  We were disappointed to only have rented it and will definitely buy it soon!

Rating: 10/10

Leprechaun: Origins

Another re-imagining of an old favorite, Leprechaun: Origins promises to be more scare and gore minus the funny of the other Leprechaun movies.  Two couple travelling through Ireland are about to discover a small village's dark secret.

Starring: Brendan Fletcher, Melissa Roxburgh, Andrew Dunbar, and Stephanie Bennett.

I was not looking forward to this movie.  My husband was boasting how scary it was going to be, and I expected to spend most of the time with my head buried in his chest.  Instead I spent the entire movie waiting to be that scared.  To say it was a huge disappointment to both of us would be about as accurate as I can get.

We expected much more from this movie, but maybe the Leprechaun story just doesn't exist without that funny, demented, evil Leprechaun from all the other movies.  Personally, I think there is no wow factor and they could have done so much more with this.

Rating: 3/10

The Expendables 3

The Expendables must take down an international arms dealer, who just happens to be an old friend-turned-enemy of Barney's that everyone thought was dead.

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Mel Gibson, Wesley Snipes, and Jackie Chan, among others.

We couldn't wait to go see this movie, and we lucked into being the only two people in the theater!  How great!  Anyway, the movie was another action packed win in our book!  My husband even speculates that they've set the stage for the next generation of Expendables with this one.

Rating: 8/10

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Pull & Pray Might Actually Work

So, while stumbling around on the internet searching for resources for making printables, I somehow came across LiveStrong.com's 16 Things You Probably Don't Know About Birth Control and was quite surprised when I came to Fact #16:

The “Pull Out Method” Is Fairly Effective, But Not Foolproof.

My first reaction is simply to laugh. However, a little Google search informed me that pulling out (AKA: the withdrawal method) is no longer holding the bad rap it used to. Okay, so, I'm still laughing even if there was a study published in Contraception magazine.

I'm on board with Dr. Melissa Gilliam who reportedly told the New York Times:

In terms of a reliable method used over and over again, the risk of failure is quite high.

The biggest concern among medical professionals and especially teachers (and I'm sure parents, too) is that this sort of information and data doesn't translate the message we want to send our youth, especially teenagers. Even if only 4% (4 out of every 100) of couples who do it right every single time will get pregnant, which puts pulling out close the the effectiveness of a condom, it does not protect against STDs and requires great self control and experience.

So, I'm still pegging this birth control method as risky and relatively irresponsible, especially for casual sex.

Do you think this method of birth control is viable? How do you feel about these facts?

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Photo courtesy of Wixphoto.com via freerangestock.com.

5 Tips to Have a Better Love Life After Kids

So I've heard numerous jokes about the two things that ruin your sex life: marriage and kids. Or maybe it's just the combination of the two. I'm not sure. This post isn't just about your love life in the bedroom, though. Today, I want to talk about some tips and ideas I have for remembering not to neglect your love life. It needs constant upkeep, too. And this isn't just for your spouse's benefit! You're a couple and this is a team effort.
Today is letter L for the A to Z blogging challenge, so I'm presenting some tips for maintaining your love life after having kids.

Prioritize Your Relationship. Prioritize you.

We tend to not only put our relationship with our significant other on the back burner, but we also tend to push our own needs away, as well. Obviously, our children are important, and they are especially dependent on us as newborns. Therefore, first time moms and new moms might suffer hardest from this de-prioritization.

Well, I'm here to tell you it's okay to take time away from your kid(s). Seriously, you need it. Remember that it's important not only to prioritize time with your significant other, whether it's sneaking in a movie while baby sleeps or going out on your first post-partum dinner date, but to prioritize some time for yourself, too. Whether you're mom and need to go to your girlfriend's house sans baby/kids or you're dad and you need to go to the gym for some time with your favorite tunes and gym equipment, it's important to remember that a happier you equals a happier relationship.

Finally, it's important to prioritize your sex life. It's so easy to be too tired or too busy. Seriously, though, stop. Sex is part of a healthy relationship both before and after children. Make an effort. Make it important. Send the kids to bed early. Sneak in an afternoon quickie or good morning wake up. Find a way to let your partner know that they're still important and you still enjoy being intimate with them.

Try Something New.

Maybe your relationship is feeling a little stale. Maybe you're feeling all "been there, done that". Well, find something new for you and your honey to do together. Never had Thai food? Try it! Never been disco roller skating? Go! Just discovered the kama sutra? Time to start trying out some new moves! Seriously, though, sometimes your relationship just needs a little spice to kick start things. There's always something out there for you to try that's new or a new way of doing something old.

Be Bold.

Is there something you've always been a little scared to do, but kind of wanted to? Is there something your significant other has expressed interest in that you've been too chicken or self-conscious to try? Similar to trying something new, this one's a little harder for us to do. Maybe it's time to close your eyes and dive feet first into something crazy or go all out and surprised your love by doing something a little out of ordinary for you.

Take Interest in Him/Her.

Maybe you could care less about old western movies. Maybe your significant other doesn't understand your fascination with a good mystery novel. It's important to take an interest in your honey and take the time to explore things they enjoy with them. You don't have to feel the same way they do about it, just let them know that you understand and that their interests are important to you.

Have Fun. Be silly.

Calm down. Take a chill pill. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at each other. Laugh at your struggles. Got puke in your hair? Okay, so it is kind of funny. Do something outrageous. Act like a goof ball. Better yet, make complete fools out of yourselves! Whether you're being a kid or just being downright ridiculous, laughter is healing. So, laugh more. Together.