Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts

The Importance of Proper Legal Counsel for Surrogates

Legal Representation Surrogates
Surrogacy is an expensive undertaking for intended parents (IPs), regardless of the method they choose—traditional surrogate or gestational surrogate; egg donor or using own eggs; working with an agency or going independent—so some IPs may think it makes sense to only pay one lawyer in order to cut costs.  However, surrogates and IPs need to have separate legal representation.

Surrogates who are tempted to forgo their own independent legal counsel should remind themselves of the huge task that they are undertaking, which comes with its own set of risks.  They should also prioritize protecting themselves and their families, should these risks become a reality during the surrogacy process.


Both parties using the same lawyer is a huge conflict of interest.  That lawyer cannot look out for the best interests of the IPs and the surrogate.  Believe it or not the two are not always equal.  Should there be a disagreement, then each party needs to have someone representing them—the same can be said when each party sees a different meaning in a certain clause or part of the contract.
Surrogacy Lawyers
While this move might present to opportunity for the IPs to save thousands of dollars; it presents the opportunity for the surrogate to be taken advantage of—intentionally or unintentionally.  Also, in some areas the contract might not be considered valid unless each party has had their own legal representation prior to agreement.

Obtaining your own legal counsel—which IPs should still be paying for—means that you have someone offering you advice and looking out for your best interests.  Your lawyer can point out clauses that need to be modified or removed altogether, or she can suggest things you should ask to be added to your contract with the IPs.


Lawyers are always going to have the best interest of the primary client in mind, so using the same lawyer means  you come second to your IPs, regardless of any claims the lawyer or IPs make about equality.

This is not mutually exclusive to surrogacy.  A single lawyer cannot properly represent two different parties in the same case.  You need your own lawyer.

Finally, both your lawyer and your IPs lawyer should be an Assistive Reproductive Technology lawyer, preferably experienced with surrogacy.  You can find a list of ART lawyers here.
Do not settle.  Protect yourself.  Protect your IPs.  Protect the integrity of surrogacy.

Pin for future reference.

Surrogates and Lawyers

How to Prepare for a C-Section Delivery

C-Section-Prep
Both my biological children were born vaginally.  I had anticipated that would probably be the case when I carried a baby for another couple, too, but I was wrong.  Baby A was breech and we elected for a planned cesarean, even though there are instances where breech babies can and are born safely without a c-section.
However, even though I felt it was the best and correct choice, I was so nervous!  The unknown is a scary place.  I took to Google searches and my favorite mom and surrogate support groups for help.  I was mostly overthinking the whole ordeal, I think, but I did learn a few things about preparing for a c-section that I wouldn’t have known otherwise.

Take a Stool Softener

The most common advice that I received was to take a stool softener and to take it sooner rather than later.  Now, by “sooner” we’re talking a day or two before your scheduled c-section.  You should also receive something in the hospital post-op—I was given Miralax—but, if not, then go ahead and request something.
Now, I want to emphasize a stool softener not a laxative.
The stool softener is to help assist in an easy post partum poop, which can be unpleasant regardless of your delivery type.  However, the meds used during a c-section and the recovery overall can leave you more prone to constipation.  Being proactive helps a ton!

Get Some Fiber Rich Snacks

I opted to load up on fiber rich snacks and even bought some fiber gummy vitamins to take.  Fiber is great for pooping and having yummy snacks is great for your soul when you’re at the hospital with a less-than-stellar food selection.  See previous point (above) about pooping.  Look for snacks with 4 grams or more of fiber.
Csection-Prep

Shave or Be Shaved

You’ll want to shave your lower abdomen area, above your vulva, unless you don’t mind the medical staff doing it for you pre-op.  I know you probably can’t see that area at this point in your pregnancy, so feel free to enlist a friend to help.  Or just do it blind.  That’s what I did.  This is where your incision will be, so it needs to be hair free.

Have a Belly Binder Available

Ask your midwife or OB and wherever you’ll be delivering if a belly binder (also called an abdominal binder) will be available to you.  I called my OB's office and they told me that belly binders weren’t provided by the hospital where I’d be delivering, but they actually were provided.  Most hospitals do provide them, but you can also buy your own, if you prefer.  Trust me.  You want one.

Pack Comfy & Appropriate Clothing

Really think about the clothes you’re packing.  Your incision is going to be very low on your abdomen, just above your vulva.  I ended up buying some silk, high rise underwear and didn’t pack any bottoms that would sit right on my incision site.  Some mid to high waist leggings are perfect. 

After my c-section is when I fell in love with wearing a robe, which I still do all the time.  Get a robe.  They’re amazing, wearable blankets.

Was this post helpful to you?  If so, you might also benefit from my C-Section Hospital Bag Checklist for Moms

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prep for a csection

Guess My Name: Printable Baby Book Page/Baby Shower Game

Guess who forgot to post this Guess My Name printable yesterday for letter G in the A to Z blogging challenge? Yep. It was me. I guess I just got all caught up in all the other stuff I was doing. Anyway, we're keeping Baby Girl's name a secret until birth, which is totally killing some of my closest family members (*cough* Mom *cough*). I thought it would be fun at the baby shower for everyone to write down their three guesses for Baby Girl's name. Also, it'll be a neat little addition to her homemade baby book.

There are two sizes, in .PDF format. One is 8x8 because I picked out a weird binder thingy for my Baby Girl's baby book. However, the other one is your standard 8.5x11. Click, save, print, enjoy!

8x8 Page

8.5x11 Page

Relieving Pregnancy Pains Without Medications

While my first pregnancy was a breeze with practically zero side effects or symptoms, I haven't been so lucky the second time around. Now I know why all the women I know hated me a little throughout and after my first pregnancy. Anyway, I've been fortunate enough to experience all those nasty negative symptoms that can come with pregnancy during my past 34 weeks of baby cooking.

Of course, there are still many much worse off than me, but I definitely don't envy them. So, while doing my own research, I realized how lovely it would be to share with others all the natural ways to relieve those common pregnancy pains.
Natural Pregnancy Pain Relief

Migraines

According to the American Pregnancy Association and the experience of other mothers, an important tool for coping with and treating pregnancy migraines is tracking your migraines and triggers. To do this properly, you may want to simply keep a journal of what you ate, when you were stressed, etc and see how that relates to when you get migraines. The point is, you're discovering what is triggering these migraines, which could help you prevent them.

Common Home Remedies

  • Cool down (cold compress to the head, cold shower, etc)
  • Sleep and relaxation
  • Meditation or yoga
  • Exercise
  • Climaxing (orgasms)

Back Pain

Because of the weight women typically gain during pregnancy, NYU Langone Medical Center estimates that around half of all pregnant women will experience some discomfort or pain in their back during pregnancy. Therefore, back pain can be considered a rather common pregnancy symptom. Knowing how to relieve back pain is beneficial whether you're pregnant or not. Here are some basics:

Treating Back Pain

  • Wear compression garments
  • Chiropractor
  • Exercises & stretching (typically swimming and stationary bikes)
  • Massages
  • Good posture
  • Hot or cold therapy

General Physical Pain

Every pregnancy is different, whether we're talking about one mother and her six different pregnancies or we're talking about ten different women who are pregnant at the same time. No two pregnancies are alike. Therefore, the pain experienced (or not experienced) during pregnancy varies and so do treatment options. Northland Family Planning has some great suggestions for pain relief.

General Pain Relief

  • Getting a massage, including back, uterus, and thighs
  • Utilizing a heating pad or taking a hot shower or bubble bath
  • Distraction (whether it be via conversation, an activity, etc)
  • Deep breathing exercises

Muscle Cramping or Spasms

This has been my least favorite side effect of this pregnancy, period! The first time I woke up in the middle of the night with an excruciating, painfully knotted calf muscle, I thought it was a fluke. Who knew that, according to the University of Maryland Medical Center (also here) and NYU Langone Medical Center, pregnancy is actually a common cause of muscle cramps or spasms? I certainly had no idea, but those suckers are the worse! So, after complaining to some friends, family, and coworkers, I was able to glean a little light on my problem. Then a google search and some testing on myself led me discover the best ways to treat these horrid cramps/spasms.

Preventing Muscle Cramps or Spasms

  • Stretch (I typically did this before bed)
  • Stay hydrated (water, water, water...not pop)
  • More potassium (bananas or orange juice)
  • Calcium or Vitamin D supplements, under doctor's supervision
  • Stay active
  • Sleep on your side, preferably left side
  • Massages or hot/cold treatments
  • Walk it out (in the case that it's a foot/leg cramp or spasm)
Disclaimer: I am not, nor have I ever claimed to be, a medical professional. Sources of information are linked or from my own personal experiences. Please consult your doctor before taking any supplements, radically changing your lifestyle (including exercise and eating habits) or if you have other concerns. This is just meant as a guide.

What were your worse pregnancy symptoms? Have you tried any of these non-medicated methods? Do you have any to add?

Printable Baby Book Pages Part II

Printable Baby Book Pages About

Now that I've shared my first pages for your printable baby book, here's the next three pages! These three pages include a First Things page (first kick, heard heartbeat, etc) and an about page for mom and dad.

Baby Book Pages: First Things & About Mom & Dad

All The Firsts Baby Book PreviewAbout Mom Baby Book Preview

Ready to Print .PDF Files

First Things & About Pages: Girl
First Things & About Pages: Boy

Editable .DOC Files

First Things & About Pages: Girl
First Things & About Pages: Boy

Free Baby Book Printables Part 1



I'm so excited to announce that I created these super cute baby book printables for free! All you have to do is go over to Plucky's Second Thought, where Plucky was kind enough to let me share them! Happy Valentine's Day!

Download & Print Here

Baby Book Pages BoyBaby Book Girl Pages