4 Tips for Surrogates: Reviewing Your Contract

Contracts for surrogacy are crucial!  However, when you initially receive your contract, it can be very overwhelming.  Thankfully, you’ll have your own legal counsel—read about why that’s important here—so you should definitely go over every page of the contract verbatim with them before signing off.

1. Be wary of caps.

I was fortunate enough to not be bit in the ass after agreeing to caps during my first surrogacy journey.  Agencies, lawyers, and/or intended parents might try and convince you that your only option is to agree to capped bed rest, wages, post-partum recovery, etc.  You might be made to feel guilty for resisting caps or you might feel a sense of obligation to agree because of how costly surrogacy is for IPs.

However, caps can leave your vulnerable.  Pregnancies are unpredictable.  Surrogates who have done SETs and are only carrying one baby have ended up on weeks or months of bed rest.  I was fortunate enough to have had a relatively uneventful pregnancy but some surrogates are not as fortunate.

Think very long and hard about whether you’re willing to accept a cap of any kind.  Some alternatives I’ve seen surrogates present are:

• A max weekly dollar amount, rather than an overall dollar cap or cap on the length of time you’ll be reimbursed.
• A cap that equals out to 48 weeks of full reimbursement for lost wages and necessary child care/housekeeping (or whatever is applicable in your situation)
• That intended parents can request a second opinion from a doctor independent of the current situation

Related Post: How to Prepare for a C-Section Delivery

2. Protect yourself and your family.

This might seem obvious, but don’t forget about yourself and your family.  Make sure you have a good life insurance policy (IPs usually purchase an additional one for you) because death is a risk you’re facing as a surrogate.

For example, if your income is critical to your family’s well being then you can absolutely not afford to “skimp” on wage reimbursements (also see previous point about caps).

Make sure you have an independent lawyer (separate from and not affiliated with your IPs lawyer) reviewing your contract with you and representing your best interests.  You should be using an Assistive Reproductive Technology lawyer.  You can find a list of ART lawyers here.

3. Be 100% comfortable prior to signing.

Don’t sign your contract until you’re happy/comfortable/satisfied with what it says.  Every single time you get an amended contract back to you, read it again verbatim.  Don’t just look at the areas where you requested and negotiated changes.  You want to make sure no new clauses/requirements/etc. snuck in there while you weren’t looking.

Walk away if it feels wrong or fishy.  Yes, it sucks that you’ve come that far and now have to “start over” but don’t compromise yourself.  It will feel yucky, and you’ll regret it later.

Related Post: Guide to Becoming a Surrogate

4. Everything is negotiable.

Finally, you should remember that pretty much everything in your contract is negotiable.  Both surrogates and IPs have asked for things that to other surrogates and IPs might sound off the wall.  However, contracts are unique to each situation.

If you don’t like the way something sounds/reads or flat out don’t agree with something then have it changed, taken out, or otherwise negotiated.  Nothing is set in stone, and don’t let an agency or lawyer tell you otherwise.  If you don’t like it, refer to point #3.

Bonus Tip! Pin this for future reference!

The Importance of Proper Legal Counsel for Surrogates

Surrogacy is an expensive undertaking for intended parents (IPs), regardless of the method they choose—traditional surrogate or gestational surrogate; egg donor or using own eggs; working with an agency or going independent—so some IPs may think it makes sense to only pay one lawyer in order to cut costs.  However, surrogates and IPs need to have separate legal representation.

Surrogates who are tempted to forgo their own independent legal counsel should remind themselves of the huge task that they are undertaking, which comes with its own set of risks.  They should also prioritize protecting themselves and their families, should these risks become a reality during the surrogacy process.

Related Post: How to Prepare for a C-Section Delivery

Both parties using the same lawyer is a huge conflict of interest.  That lawyer cannot look out for the best interests of the IPs and the surrogate.  Believe it or not the two are not always equal.  Should there be a disagreement, then each party needs to have someone representing them—the same can be said when each party sees a different meaning in a certain clause or part of the contract.

While this move might present to opportunity for the IPs to save thousands of dollars; it presents the opportunity for the surrogate to be taken advantage of—intentionally or unintentionally.  Also, in some areas the contract might not be considered valid unless each party has had their own legal representation prior to agreement.

Obtaining your own legal counsel—which IPs should still be paying for—means that you have someone offering you advice and looking out for your best interests.  Your lawyer can point out clauses that need to be modified or removed altogether, or she can suggest things you should ask to be added to your contract with the IPs.

Related Post: A Surrogate Birth Story

Lawyers are always going to have the best interest of the primary client in mind, so using the same lawyer means  you come second to your IPs, regardless of any claims the lawyer or IPs make about equality.

This is not mutually exclusive to surrogacy.  A single lawyer cannot properly represent two different parties in the same case.  You need your own lawyer.

Finally, both your lawyer and your IPs lawyer should be an Assistive Reproductive Technology lawyer, preferably experienced with surrogacy.  You can find a list of ART lawyers here.
Do not settle.  Protect yourself.  Protect your IPs.  Protect the integrity of surrogacy.

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5 Things You Need to Know Before Becoming a Surrogate

Becoming a surrogate is a huge responsibility, whether you’re a traditional or gestational surrogate.  It might be easy enough to assume you’re “informed” after researching surrogacy and understanding the basic process. 

However, there’s actually an overwhelming amount of things that could potentially be overlooked altogether or disregarded as not important if potential surrogates aren’t looking in the right places.  I’ve put together five things potential surrogates should know before committing to a journey.

1. Surrogacy can be a long process.

Sometimes surrogates are surprised at the length of time from finding the perfect intended parents to the birth of a baby.  Patience is important and you, honestly, don’t want anything in this process to be rushed. 

Every part of the surrogacy process is a process in itself and might take weeks or months or longer.  Some surrogates have reported their journey taking 2 years or more from start to finish.  Statistically speaking, the first transfer isn’t likely to take.  It can, of course, but be prepared that it might take more than one shot to get pregnant.  Be ready for the reality that this might not be quick.

2. Surrogacy might have an upfront financial cost.

Surrogacy related expenses should all be reimbursed to you, of course, but the key word here is “reimbursed.”  Some expenses cannot or are not paid ahead of time or up front by intended parents or surrogacy agencies.  Rental cars, for example, have to be put on your credit card and then reimbursed later.

Sometimes it’s because of policies companies have—such as the case with rental cars—or because costs are often variable and intended parents should only have to reimburse you exactly what you needed.  This might not be the case with every journey, but it’s better to be prepared to cover these costs with your own cash or credit and then be reimbursed.

If you’re not in a financial place to do that, then you might not be financially secure enough to be a surrogate, anyway.  If you’re hesitant to cover costs up front and be reimbursed, you could avoid some of those issues by matching with local intended parents.

3. Surrogacy has real health risks.

Whether you realized it or not, even your pregnancies for your keeper babies had risks. Pregnancy causes major body changes, and potential surrogates shouldn’t take this lightly, even if they’ve had easy, relatively uncomplicated pregnancies in the past.

Prior pregnancy ease or success does not guarantee a smooth surrogate pregnancy!

Prospective surrogates should consider that there are risks up to and including death.  Thinking “it won’t happen to me” is a great way to be unprepared if it does, indeed, happen to you.  This is why you should have appropriate plans in place for possible bed rest, hospitalization, and even death.

4. This is not a way to get rich quick.

This shouldn’t have to be stated, but I’m going to put it out there anyway.  It’s not a get rich quick—or at all—deal.  If that’s what you’re after then, please, leave now.  This is a long, often difficult, process for intended parents and surrogates.  It’s an emotional and physical investment and there’s even a chance that your journey will end without you ever giving the intended parents the baby they wanted.

It could be months or longer before you ever receive any compensation.  You may need to pay for some expenses up front before being reimbursed.  Basically, you need to be financially stable.

5. You may not end up being friends with the intended parents after birth.

Many surrogates and intended parents go into the journey planning to be friends and keep in touch afterward.  However, relationships between surrogates and intended parents can change for a variety of reasons.  Be prepared for that because unfortunately not everyone finishes their journey feeling like best buds.

For whatever reason, your relationship may not be ideal and you might not see the baby after birth or after the parents and baby leave the hospital.  Even under good circumstances, you may lose touch or simply not be all that close with the baby and intended parents.

It’s irresponsible to be a surrogate without being informed.  Your team of people can only be expected to do so much.  It’s important to take responsibility and research surrogacy thoroughly before entering into any kind of legal agreement.

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The Right Way to Freeze Breast Milk

When I was an exclusive pumper with my first born, I was totally clueless that there was a right and wrong way to freeze breast milk.  My bags were thrown into my freezer in lumps and frozen in all sorts of weird shapes and sizes.

This was so inefficient, but I was so oblivious to it, even though it seems obvious now.  I guess when you’re a new mom, though, it’s easy to overlook the simple things.  We’re so overwhelmed with new, new, new that I totally get why I spent almost a whole year freezing breast milk in ugly lumps.
Also, nobody ever told me any different.

Well, here I am to tell you that there is a right way to freeze breast milk.  It will save your freezer space and maybe even a little bit of your sanity—y’know if you’re a little bit of a perfectionist like me.

Freeze Breast Milk Flat

This is the right way to freeze breast milk, in my (and many others’) opinion.  If you’re pumping for a milk bank for donation then this is definitely the most efficient way to freeze, seeing as the only other option is bottles.

A tip my sister gave me before the birth of my youngest was to use an empty wipes container to freeze my Lansinoh Breastmilk Storage Bags. They fit perfectly which makes it even better. It's a great alternative to pricey storage solutions that promise the same thing. Why not use something you already have that costs a lot less. 

However, you can easily freeze breast milk flat without the use of a wipes container.  Now that I’m exclusively pumping for a milk bank post-surrogacy, I simply lay the bags flat on the shelf in my freezer of my fridge.  Another great tip is to freeze between two cookie sheets because then your bags will be flat on both sides.

Breast Milk Cubes

Another option for moms is to freeze breast milk in cubes, like ice cubes.  When I briefly did this, I used Munchkin's Click Lock Fresh Food Freezer Trays, but many other—probably better—options are available.  If I was to do it again, I’d probably use a tray designed for freezing breast milk such as Milkies Milk Tray or a flexible silicone tray such as this one Nuk offers.
Freezing breast milk like this can be convenient as many tray options allow you to freeze in 1 ounce portions, so you can thaw exactly what you need, when you need it.

However, it can also be a real pain to get the cubes out of the tray.  You will need to be mindful of properly storing the breast milk to avoid freezer burn.

Proper care of breast milk is important so that the hard work of pumping doesn’t go to waste.  Any mom who’s ever dumped a few ounces of her pumped milk knows that crying over spilled milk is absolutely fine!

How do you store breast milk?  Are you guilty of freezing ugly breast milk lumps at one point, too?

A Surrogate Birth Story

It’s been three days since the beginning of the end of my first journey as a surrogate (when I wrote this).  On Friday, October 7th, 2016, I was 39 weeks pregnant with a baby boy whom I had no genetic relation and soon he would meet his dads for the first time!  Myself, my husband, and Baby’s parents were anxious and nervous in our own rights.

At my 36 week check up, we discovered that Baby was still breech.  He never did turn and the decision was made to have a scheduled c-section.  This was all new territory for me.

First time surrogate. Different OB provider and hospital from my previous pregnancies.  First breech baby.  First c-section.

This was shaping up to be a very trying group of first time experiences that had me relieved that we were nearing the end of our journey but also nervous.  The expecting parents arrived weeks in advance and were basically just bored and waiting around for Baby to arrive.

Their presence caused me—mostly self-inflicted—extra pressure, but I finally let myself be honest with them that I was exhausted and had a lot going on the last few weeks before delivery.  I was still trying to maintain being a halfway decent mother and wife.  They were totally understanding, per usual.

My husband absolutely sucks at saying all the right things, apparently, and I think I should have probably banned him from commenting on the whole procedure leading up to it.  Looking back, I’m fairly certain he was nervous himself and word vomiting not-funny-jokes related to the birth and what it was going to be like.

Related Post: Surrogacy: Getting Started

At 7:50AM, two blocks from the hospital, I get a phone call from the woman who would be my nurse for the day to come. 

“Amanda, are you coming to your scheduled c-section today?” was her question. 
“All of my paperwork said to arrive at 8AM.  I’ll be there in about 5 minutes.” I confirmed and we disconnected.

My husband and I laughed and considered all the alternative answers.  Had people actually decided not to show up for a scheduled c-section before?  The labor and delivery unit had been expecting me at 7:30AM, apparently.

We arrive at the same time as the expecting dads and make our way upstairs to labor and delivery, where we are shown to my room.  My c-section is schedule for 9:30AM.
It’s almost time.

Here We Go!

The next 90 minutes are a whirl of personal questions—mostly for me, but some for the dads—and prepping for surgery.  I am wearing an always-fashionable hospital gown, surgery cap, my glasses and an IV in my forearm.

The anesthesiologist is a curt Asian man whos social skills left something to be desired.  He’s telling me about long lasting pain relief and side effects and benefits and I’m signing consents, while my husband is being given what I lovingly call the ‘bunny suit.’

Then the nurse is putting the ugly, tan no-slip hospital socks on my feet and I’m walking across the hall to the OR.

There are already several people in there, and I sit on the edge of the OR table as everyone bustles around preparing.

I’m nervous.

There’s a lot going on, though, and Mr. Personality—the anesthesiologist—soon is giving me the spinal pain medication. 

Back of knees against the OR table.
Hunch over.
Hold still.
Here come’s the stick and burn.
Done.

In just a few short seconds, my feet are warm and tingly.  It’s time to lie down, which I do mostly unassisted.  Someone is placing my legs for a catheter, while someone else is instructing me where to put my arms.  I don’t need to have them dangling over the side like that. 

Related Post: What is a surrogate mother?

Nurse R. mentions that with everything going on at once, I don’t get time to be nervous.  She’s right, and I’m thankful.  Another nurse and I chat about surrogacy.

I briefly register and find some humor in the fact that I’m pretty sure I’m exposed to all 100 people in the room and I could care less.

I’m nauseous.
So nauseous.

Even with all that has happened, it’s really only been mere minutes—maybe 5?—since I got the spinal.  I tell them I’m feeling very nauseous and the OR Mom—or maybe ‘the gofer’ is a better term, I had been jokingly told earlier—stands next to the side of my head with a green barf bag.  Mr. Personality gives me a dose of Zofran in my IV.

I spend the next few minutes imagining having to suffer through an hour of being sick to my stomach and, surely…eventually barfing all over myself.  Because how does someone even barf to the side of their face while lying flat on an OR table without it being an awful, miserable mess?  They don’t, right?  It simply can’t be.  Just great!

Oh and the nausea is gone.  Thank god!

OR Mom can go back to goffering and Mr. Personality is wrapped in a warm blanket somewhere—yes, literally—and Dr. B is in the room now.  I’ve been wiped with iodine and there’s a tarp in my way.  Hubby is in his bunny suit next to me.

Then There Was Baby

A large part of me had been very thankful that Mr. Personality hadn’t felt comfortable with any extra people in the room, because I was nervous as heck.  However, I realize around this time how little I actually care now that everything is started—I think they’ve started, right?—and am a little sad that the expecting parents are anxiously waiting in their own room for Baby to be brought to them.

I talk to Daniel, my husband, for distraction.  Part of me is a little worried about focusing too much on what is going on.  What is going on, anyway?  I really can’t tell.  Between the pain meds and the tarp, it really is hard to tell.

I ask Daniel if he’s going to watch.  Yep.  He’s sitting on a stool next to my head.  He’s too short to simply stretch his neck and look over the tarp.  He makes a joke about it.

I can feel movements and I’m listening to comment being made on the other side of the tarp.  Daniel is standing now, watching.  Nurse R., who’s also in charge of taking photos for the parents, tells Daniel he has to sit back down if he starts to feel faint.  He says he will, bot not to worry because he’s not going to pass out.

Related Post: Surrogacy: Compensation

There’s a brief discussion of all the people who she’s seen pass out, including doctors.  I can feel movement—that’s Baby, wiggly ‘til the end—pressure and tugging.  It’s very weird and literally feels like a baby is being pulled out of your insides…y’know, minus any pain you might expect to be associated with such a thing.  Who would have thought, right?

Here we go.  Baby comes out butt first. Oh, he must be big.  They’re all commenting on it.  His head is briefly “stuck.”  And he’s out…I guess.  I can already tell my stomach feels deflated.  There’s some suctioning going on.

Baby starts crying at some point.  I can tell Daniel is glowing and grinning even though he’s wearing a surgical mask.  I tease him and tell him he’s weird.  He tells me that Baby is cute.  I can’t tell because Daniel’s arm is in my way.

He sits back down.

There’s a chubby cheeked, pink baby boy across the room being evaluated by nursing staff and a nurse practitioner.

Yep, he’s definitely cute.

Dr. B. is guessing he’s around 9 pounds, but Daniel doesn’t think he’s as big as Luna, our daughter, was.  She was 9 pounds, 3 ounces.  I tell him I think Baby is probably close.

Recovery

Dr. B. is putting me back together.  It’s…different…then the taking apart process.  It doesn’t hurt, but it doesn’t feel very good either.  Just…weird.

Someone—maybe Dr B.—makes a comment about how most people get nauseous at this part and how good I’m doing.  I break the news that I got Zofran about 7 minutes after I entered the room, so I’d already been there, done that.

Oh.  And we’re done.

I’m being slid onto my bed.  I get rolled around some—this is weird because I’m usually the one rolling people around—and they put the abdominal binder on me.  I like the way it feels immediately.

Related Post: 20 DIY Baby Shower Gifts

Back to my room we go.

The next few hours all blur together, mostly.  My pain is very well controlled, minimal even.  Nausea is awful and it takes a while for me to not be lightheaded anytime I’m sitting up even a little bit.  At some point I become itchy.

I have some brunch and a second dose of Zofran.  I keep saying I’ll take a nap and don’t.  I don’t see Baby and his dads until mid afternoon, sometime after I’ve pumped the first dose of colostrum for the little guy.

Surrogacy: Compensation

One of the most talked about parts of surrogacy is compensation. I have seen quite a few heated conversations about the matter. However, it is an important part of the process, whether you're an altruistic surrogate or paid surrogate.

What your compensation is, is reimbursement for your time, energy, pain, suffering, etc. Sometimes it's all inclusive, but more often it does not include "extras" such as maternity clothes or post-partum recovery time.

Standard Compensation

In my personal opinion, the standard range for surrogacy compensation is between $20-35,000. Of course, I've seen drastically different numbers and this number is influenced by whether or not your insurance is surrogacy friendly and if you've successfully been a surrogate previously, among other factors.

Related Post: Getting Started with Surrogacy

Extras

The so-called "extras" part of compensation is widely varied in what it covers and how much. It is also separate from your regular compensation. Some things you might commonly see are monthly allowance, maternity clothes, c-section fee, multiples fee, etc.

Here's a mock up of surrogacy fees and extras (not made by me). It's a fill in the blank PDF but also has an example page. This might be especially useful to independent surrogates.

Altruistic Surrogates

An altruistic surrogate volunteers herself and her womb without compensation. These surrogates typically still receive reimbursements for out of pocket costs. At the end of a surrogacy journey for an altruistic surrogate, the assumption is that her out of pocket cost is $0, but she's also not financially benefited from the surrogacy in any way.

Altruistic surrogates might receive gifts, but this isn't written into their contracts and the parents aren't obligated to do so.

Low Comp Surrogates

You might see the term "low comp" thrown around some while researching surrogacy, especially if you get involved in any chat communities. Surrogates usually consider themselves low comp if their compensation is less that $15,000. However, $15,000 is an imaginary bar I'm setting. It's not a standard, by any means, for low vs standard compensation. It just fits the trends I've seen.

Related Post: Becoming a Surrogate

Choosing

As far as compensation goes, figuring out what's right for you may be difficult. If you plan to match independently (without an agency), you should definitely have this all figured out before seeking out intended parents. While everyone's "right" compensation (or lackthereof) is different, the amount that intended parents can afford greatly varies. Costs associated with surrogacy are high! Think upwards of $100,000 or more. If what you're expecting is high, you will be turned away by intended parents and so agencies.

As with all parts of surrogacy, do your research. Agencies often have a publicly posted fee/compensation page, such as this one by Circle Surrogates agency.

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Surrogacy: Becoming a Surrogate

Now that you've done some research, as directed in the last post, and have decided to move forward to become a surrogate (or are just curious to learn more about this process), we'll discuss how to get started.

Related Post: Surrogacy: Getting Started

Independent versus Agency

There are two different ways to become a surrogate. One way is to choose a surrogacy agency and they will match you with a couple.

Taking this route, the agency will have you fill out an application and typically do some pre-screening (psych/social work evaluations). Then they match you with a couple of similar values and interests; someone they think is a good "fit" for you and your expectations and vice versa.

When using an agency, the intended parents are paying a premium that is not present in independent matches. This is because agencies typically handle screening surrogates, matching surrogates and parents, assign legal reps, handle payments and reimbursements, etc. Basically, they do all the management and back end stuff...grunt work, if you will.

The alternative is to independently seek out an intended parent or parents and then match yourselves. This is more cost effective on the intended parents end, but requires more grunt work all around. Also, if there's any issues (payment, person disagreements, etc) then you have to work them out yourselves and/or involve your legal rep if it's very serious!

You'll see preferences on either side, so just do some more research on the pros and cons and decide which is best for you and then proceed from there!

Evaluations and Screenings

While there's some variations, after you've signed up with and agency or matched independently, it's time for you to under the microscope while other people dissect your health and life. This was, honestly, my least favorite part. I was confident I'd pass all "tests" but I hated feeling like I was being tested and examined. Otherwise, it's a painless process that may include a social worker, psychologist, and other medical professionals.

You'll give your personal history, your medical history (including records), your blood, and a doctor will examine your uterus. Depending on the doctor, clinic, and/or agency other requirements, such as some evaluations of your significant other, may be required.

Sometimes part or all of this process happens while also matching with and getting to know the intended parents. Other times, some or all of this happens before you are matched.

Related Post: What is a surrogate mother?

Meeting the Parents

Of course, this list is not in order, because if you are going to be a independent surrogate (that is, without an agency), the matching process happens in the beginning stages. During or before the evaluations and screenings processes, you'll "meet up" with a couple or single person who wants you to carry for them.

Whether you have an agency you gives you a profile of intended parents or you find some yourself, it's basically like a blind date. If they're local, you'll be one of some lucky few who are able to meet their intended parents face to face and possibly have more frequent face to face contact with them.

I don't think that's as common as long distance surrogates and intended parents, though. In these cases, skype is a very common means of communication.

Once you found a couple or person who you feel comfortable with and want to carry for, you can move forward from wherever you are in your process. If you're with an agency, you usually privately communicate with them
after the first "meet" with the parents to let the agency know if it's a go or no go. The parents have the same opportunity to green or red light you.

Surrogacy Contracts (Legal Work)

Once your intended parents and you have chosen each other, the work can start on the legal contract (one of the most important parts of the journey). The legal contract will cover compensation and reimbursement, termination, travel, and more.

Read your contract verbatim when you get it and take notes to discuss with your legal rep.

This part sometimes makes people uncomfortable but it's important to make sure you're getting fair treatment and everything is in order for you. That's what your legal rep is for. The parents should have their own, separate rep, to keep their best interest in mind.

There may be some negotiating, but neither party should take it personally and eventually compromise and the signing of the contracts will lead to the next step!

Baby Time!

If all screenings are passed and you found the perfect person or couple to carry for and all legal work in finished; it's time to move on to the best part...the baby! Or babies, as the case may be!

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Surrogacy: Getting Started

Wow! Has it been awhile! The blog is always on my mind, but life has surely been crazy lately. In January we transferred 2 embryos in my surrogacy journey, a new college semester started, and I was working on transferring positions at my out of the home job!

I wanted to share with you some answers to questions I frequently get about surrogacy. Today, I plan to focus on how to become a surrogate and where to start. This will cover some of what to do before you actually become a surrogate to be!

Gestational vs Traditional Surrogate

I posted about this before, but I'll quickly recap. A gestational surrogate carries an genetically unrelated baby or babies transferred via IVF, while a traditional surrogate donates her egg(s) as well as her womb. If you want to know more about this, please read the relate post below!

Related Post: What is a surrogate mother?

Basic Requirements and Info

Some requirements are pretty much universal, but things change and I'm not claiming to be an expert. These are just things to keep in mind that you'll most likely see among the requirements to become a surrogate.

• Have had at least one successful pregnancy.
  
• Be at least 21 years-old, though many agencies or doctors require 23 years of age.
  
• Be financially stable and not on government assistance.
  
• Pass a psyche, social work, and medical screening (this may include your significant other in part or whole, as well).

State Laws & Other Legalities

In a few states, it's actually illegal be to a surrogate! You can check out more states laws regarding surrogacy at The Surrogacy Experience.

The legal part of surrogacy is one of the most important parts. Don't skimp. You will need a legal representative in your state that is different from the parent or parents' rep, so they can properly advocate for you. This is typically at the parents' expense.

Related Post: 6 Benefits of Babywearing

Research Surrogacy...Thoroughly

I touched on some important points in this post and made some recommendations, but before even thinking of seeking a person or couple to carry for; you need to spend a lot of time researching surrogacy.

Pregnancy and childbirth are arguably among the most intense and dangerous experiences a woman's body undergoes. Even with each woman's own traditional pregnancies, there are risks. Be aware of what's at stake not only for surrogates for for an intended parent of parents.

Related Outside Links:

• Forward Fertility's Common Questions Page
  
• Personal Surrogate Experiences in Women's Health Mag
  
• Growing Generations: How Becoming a Surrogate Works
  
• Surrogate FAQs from Circle Surrogacy
  
• 10 Steps to Becoming a Gestational Surrogate
  
• Is becoming a surrogate right for me?

Connecting with surrogates in various stages of their journeys is another great way to gain personal insight into the nature of surrogacy. One of the easiest ways to do this is to look up surrogacy groups on Facebook. There are some larger ones and usually different geographical areas have one, too! Do this after you've done some research.

Then if you're ready you can move onto the process of actually becoming a surrogate!

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What is a surrogate mother?

Something I hope to be posting more about in the months to come is surrogacy.  While the journey is just beginning for me, I believe it will be one of the most rewarding adventures I will ever be a part of.

However, most people don't really now much about surrogacy.

sur·ro·gate
a substitute, especially a person deputizing for another in a specific role or office.
"she was regarded as the surrogate for the governor during his final illness"
synonyms: substitute, proxy, replacement

So, if you don't know already, a surrogate carries and delivers a child for an intended parent or parents to raise.

A surrogate comes in two basic forms: a traditional surrogate (TS) or a gestational surrogate (GS).

A traditional surrogate uses her own eggs and a gestational surrogate doesn't.  This is the most basic of descriptions.

This is my small, somewhat official announcement of intent.  We're not too far into this yet, but it is something my family and I are pursuing with great pleasure and pride!

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